another moral hangover. fuck.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
