you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
