Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
