shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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