3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
