The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
