Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
