Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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