I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Dear god my vagina.
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