Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
