I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
