C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
