marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
