Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
