You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
