He kissed a someone with a penis
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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