i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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