Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
