Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
