Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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