this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
