I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
