i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
