But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
