Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I am one with the molecules
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
