Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Randomize
