Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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