i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
