What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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