So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
