Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
