it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
