I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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