i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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