Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize