theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
