Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
