someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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