You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
my poor anus
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
