I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
