And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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