hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
