I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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