RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
