I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
be right there i have to get my cape
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Randomize
