we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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