Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize