just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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