The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
