i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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