my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
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